Date or no date? – Trolls Inc

Trying to date as a millennial should be fun right? And yet it just injects an overwhelming sense of fear through my system.

If you haven’t experienced any of these symptoms before a date, can somebody please tell me why they didn’t – what’s the drug you’re taking?

  • Sweaty palms ✔️
  • Shakey voice. Arms. Fingers. Legs. Toes. Hair… ✔️
  • Nervous toilet visits (half the time its a false alarm) ✔️
  • Refusal to eat any kind of food, even though the day before you definitely had worms you ate so much ✔️

Some of you will think all of the above is worth it if he turns out to be the one. Perhaps yes. But what if he isn’t?

Why it’s not for me

I don’t date. I hate it. For many of the above reasons but it’s also because I have this overwhelming fear of running out of conversation with people. This fear applies in my life to all social situations, and job and yet I NEVER EVER RUN OUT OF CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE. Sounds daft right, but it’s a true story. An old colleague of mine once told me to embrace silences, it can go to your advantage in difficult work conversations. I’ve seen its effectiveness – embrace that tumbleweed and you can get your way. And yet the thought of running out of conversation on a date is a genuine fear. If it happens does that mean I am boring or have no banter or am not lovable?

The moral of this story is if you do run out of conversation, chances are he’s not the one for you and get the hell out of there as quick as you can. The up side – you might get a free drink or meal out of it! I’m a hypocrite though because I STILL don’t date knowing this.

I date my best friend instead

Yep that’s what’s happened to me. I just hang out with my best friend all the time. Really. If I want to see a movie, she’s the first person I ask. Dinner, she’s there. Brunch, she’s there. Holidays, she’s there. Golf, she’s there. We say bye at 4pm, I text her at 4.02. It’s now at the point where some people have offered their catering services for our civil ceremony.

We don’t care, people can talk all they want, but it may explain why we are both singletons in this great Tinderland. Speaking of Tinder, it’s so lame. Match based on looks (we all know personality wins) then message, flirt, text somebody that you’ve never met. Wasting time that you really don’t have on a human who may be a weirdo or the one. It’s all so twisted, another reason why I don’t do it.

And yet here I am. Happy, selfish, stubborn and enjoying my life how I want it to be. But at what point do you realise you want to share all the fun with somebody else? That’s still something I am figuring out in the run up to turning the big 3 0….

This is Katy and I just being general ballers x