What’s on your bucket list, Cincinnati sports fans?

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Reds starter Tyler Mahle pitched 6 1/3 scoreless innings in the team’s 7-0 victory over the Kansas City Royals on Wednesday.
The Enquirer/Bobby Nightengale

Because this is one of Those Days when I have nothing to say and 1,500 words in which to say it, let’s go off road. Either that, or we can discuss mascots and nicknames. That’s a new topic.

REMASTERED VINYL YOU HAVE TO HAVE. This comes up because I wrote a few days ago that I didn’t agree with my son on the greatness of Black Sabbath’s 1st album. A Mobster suggested I get the remaster, then said his affection for Led Zeppelin caused him to drop big change on Physical Graffiti and Coda.

My choices: Allmans Live at Fillmore East, Sgt. Pepper’s.

BUCKET LIST VACATION SPOT. It’s the time of year when wanderlust grabs me by the neck and shakes. I wanna rattle and roll on outta town for a bit. Our Tristate really is a good place to live – low housing costs, relatively safe, very easy to navigate – but it’s not exactly Vacation Central.

My vacation choices (only places I haven’t been): Bend, Oregon, home of Deschutes Brewery and about a million places to hike and boat.

Big Bend National Park, Texas, miles from nowhere, millions of stars, ultimate solitude.

Cumberland Island, Georgia.

PLACE YOU WANT TO LIVE, MONEY NO OBSTACLE.

North Beach, Telegraph Hill, San Francisco

Angel Island, San Francisco, though nobody lives there. It’s a park in the Bay.

Norwood Park, Asheville.

My house as a kid in Bethesda, Maryland.

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SPORTING EVENT YOU WANT TO ATTEND.

A World Cup final in Brazil, with Brazil a finalist. A year covering SEC football.

I’ve actually seen everything else I want to see: A British Open at St. Andrews, two U.S. Opens at Pebble Beach, four Rose Bowls, 22 Masters, an NFC title game at Lambeau, an October game at Wrigley (from a Waveland Avenue rooftop, no less), Pauley Pavilion, Hinkle Fieldhouse, Cameron Indoor Stadium, the Palestra, an LSU home nighttime football game, Dodger Stadium at twilight, an Army football game at West Point, an Olympics in Athens, a Daytona 500 (the year Dale Sr. won, very cool).

VENUE YOU’D LOVE TO VISIT THAT NO LONGER EXISTS.

Ebbets Field, period, end of discussion. I’m convinced I was a Brooklyn Dodgers fan in an earlier life. The lore and romance of Dem Bums is intoxicating, the players memorable: Jackie and The Duke, Campy and Preacher and PeeWee. A neighborhood team in the truest sense, the likes of which we’ll never see again.

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COACH/MANAGER YOU’D MOST WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH, LIVING OR DEAD. I’d say Red Auerbach, but he seemed kind of insufferable. I’d say Bob Knight, but I’ve already had dinner with him. Lombardi, then. Not Belichick or Saban, for sure. Stengel, maybe. Dean Smith.

PLAYER YOU’D MOST LIKE TO INVITE TO YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY.Willie Stargell. Only jock I ever hero-ized. Bronson Arroyo gets the silver medal.

ATHLETE YOU’D MOST LIKE TO BE, EVER.Dan Gable. (He was a wrestler, kids.) What’s it like to own complete domination of your craft?

TV SHOW YOU’D WANT A CAMEO IN.All In The Family. Back before we all lost our PC minds.

ACTOR YOU’D MOST WANT TO BE, MALE DIVISION. Kevin Costner. Always loved his looks, the way he fit his clothes, the smooth, athletic way he moved. Is that weird? Yeah, could be.

My wife is forever enamored with Johnny Depp. You’ve got to be kidding. Costner in Bull Durham? Never has an actor better and more convincingly portrayed an athlete. He wasn’t bad in Tin Cup, either. HM to Paul Newman, in Hud and Cool Hand Luke. “What we have heah, is failure to communicate.’’ And to Denzel Washington.

ACTOR YOU’D MOST LIKE TO BE, FEMALE DIVISION.Annette Benning, in An American President. She glowed. Meryl Streep, who’s never been in a bad movie.

ONE SPORTING EVENT TO ATTEND, IF YOU COULD ATTEND JUST ONE MORE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Some of you will say a Bengals Super Bowl W. I will say a Xavier-UC national title game.

ROCK STAR YOU’D LIKE TO BE FOR ONE NIGHT. Oh, Mick, no 2nd place. Sold-out stadium, 1969, prancing in one of those leotard-looking outfits, belting Jumping Jack Flash or Sympathy for the Devil. A hundred thousand fans, half wanting to be you, half wanting to … well, you get the picture.

IDOL WITH WHOM YOU’D LIKE TO HAVE A COCKTAIL. Rod Serling. Lookimup, kids.

IDOL TO DRINK WITH AT 3 A.M. Hemingway.

IDOL WITH WHOM TO DISCUSS YOUR CRAFT. Pat Conroy. Jim Murray. Curry Kirkpatrick. David Halberstam.

18 HOLES WITH … The Eternal Jack Nicklaus.

15 ROUNDS WITH … Jack Johnson, the guy Trump just pardoned.

IN THE BATTING CAGE WITH … Clemente.

And so on.

Now, then …

REDS WIN. WHY IT MATTERED. Wins are wins. Worst starting pitching in MLB v. almost-worst hitting. Something had to give. It was the Royals – 14th in the AL in runs, HRs, OPS and Total Bases – who managed 1 run in 2 games. Props to Romano and Mahle.

AND NOW, FUN AND GAMES WITH THE -ESPONDENTS.

BEERMANDAVE is live from Seattle. Of course he is.

Supersonic Brews

While in Seattle this week, a friend recommended that I check out Fremont Brewing company. What I didn’t know is that I would be stumbling upon what felt like the MadTree of the Pacific Northwest. This place has the absolute perfect proportions of grudge, chill and cool. At the same time the beer is refined and delicious. Make sure you check this place off your list if you have a chance to tour Seattle. Here’s a rundown of the great craft beer they are pouring during their sunniest month of the year: Parkland Pils, Universale, Session, and Summer Pale Ales, Homefront, Head Full of Dynomite, and Folly IPAs, The Sister Imperial IPA, Trial by Haze NE IPA, and of course the outstanding Lush IPA, which is the Seattle equivalent to our Psychopathy or Truth. Guaranteed good times. Cheers! cincybeerguydave@gmail.com

FUNMEISTER BRIEN has a thing for The Thing.

Every so often movie theaters offer revivals of classic films. These are not very well publicized so I wanted to take the chance to let everyone know that The Esquire in Clifton is showing “The Thing” on Friday, June 22, at 10 p.m.

The Thing is a science fiction/horror film from 1982. It is a remake of a 1950s creature feature called The Thing from Another World. However, this is one of those rare cases where the remake outshines the original in every way.

A science team in Antarctica stumbles upon an alien life form that has the ability to shape shift. The setting adds factors of claustrophobia and isolation to the suspense of the scenario. This is dread horror at its finest.

John Carpenter (Halloween, Christine, Escape from New York) upgrades the campy plant monster of the original film into something much more disturbing. The special effects of this film are a wonder to behold. Using puppetry, makeup and stop-motion animation, The Thing is able to depict nightmarish creatures with unrivaled acumen. This technical achievement is especially impressive when you realize the film was made 36 years ago.

Kurt Russell, Keith David and Wilford Brimley star in one of the five best horror films ever made. This one is absolutely worth seeing on the big screen if you have the chance (or courage) to do so.

I can guarantee youse that this is the only kinda-sports blog in the world today that includes a review of The Thing, thankyouverymuch.

TUNE O’ THE DAY … Lots of Elvis fans didn’t like his late-career stuff. I did. Excepting In The Ghetto, which was one of the dumbest musical stereotypes ever written. This one is especially good.

 

 

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